Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Think Before Asking


Hi Incik Bloggie!

Advice from 'anonymous', because I think its good reminder to myself. 

Copied from Facebook account.


There are several sensitive questions that you may need to ponder before throwing them at others.

1) When are you getting married? - Honestly, no one wants to live their days alone. Even the most independent person will feel lonely too.

2) When are you gonna get kids? - This one is even more sensitive. They may have tried their best, but it's not the time yet, but soon InsyaAllah. My parents struggled for almost 10 years to have kids of their own.

3) When are you going to get a job? - Maybe they thought about it like every day and even going bald while at it? Who knows? But I'm sure they had given their best, and if it's time for them, Allah will give them what they need.

4) Why are you fat? - It's not enough being reminded every time they looked at the mirror, but these constant questioning only works to destroy the remaining self-esteem that they had.

5) Why are you this slow/sluggish? - Hey, it's not fair to ask them that, not everyone is created equal. They may be better in certain aspects of life, well I don't know, maybe politeness?

It's simple. Think before asking.

- Is it necessary?
- Will it hurt the feelings of the one being asked?
- Do you have to do it in front of others?

Instead of asking these questions, I suggest you to make du'a for them. They may need it more than you do.


Just a little sharing, it's not from my perspective, but...ada relevannya di situ. Sometimes, kita rasa cam...alah benda biasa je tu. Soalan berbasa basi nak di tanya. We forgot, its actually sensitive questions. Macam yang aku pernah tulis dalam entry sebelum ni *siapa pernah baca blog ni, dia tahu dekat entry mana...jeng...jeng...jeng!*. Ask ourselves, apa perasaan kita, when people asked questions yang di luar bidang kuasa kita untuk memberikan jawapan. 

Tapi kadang-kadang kita bertanya sebab kita concern pasal orang tu. Maybe, kena olah sikit soalan kita tu untuk menjaga hati seseorang. Instead of asking;

"weh, bila kau nak dapat kerja ni?"
why not tanya...
"Kau dah apply kerja?" 
"Macam mana progress pencarian kerja?"

"bilanya nak kahwin ni?"
why not tanya
"dah ada calon tak...kalau tak ada nak perkenalkan calon ni..."
Sodap sikit dengar...mihmih...

Itu just contoh...contoh je ok! You may use different sentences yang sound nice sikit...dari dok tanya bila bila bila...bla bla...

As for me soalan 1&3 tu memang sensitif. Ahaks! Soalan no2 tak relevan pun orang nak tanya aku. Soalan 4 maybe orang akan tukar...eh....awat kuruih sgt ni? Nampak macam mayat hidup. If could, rasa nak karate dah! Soalan no 5, tanpa disedari I used to asked people. Sobsobsob...terkena atas batang hidung sendiri! So instead of complaining, why not awak tolong orang tu supaya mempercepat dan memudahkan kerja sedikit Intan. Ni memang betul2 reminder to myself! 

Sama-sama lah kita buat self-reflect. 

Salam sayang! Jangan marah! Kalau marah kena jual, kalau tak marah teruskan berkasih sayang!

Till we meet again Incik Bloggie!


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